sigh. tomorrow or rather today is exactly one week since i had my makeup test. if i don't get any calls from them, i've decided to be thick-skinned and call them.

later in the day i have to open my wardrobe and pick out all the clothes that i'm going to sell at the fair. it's gonna be sorta like a family day plus celebrate-national-day event at ite college east (simei), which is the one near the expo mrt. i'm sharing the stall with rena. i'm selling mostly 2nd hand but hardly worn clothes while she's selling some of her stocks from bangkok. the events company is aiming to sell mid-range products, and expecting at least 5000 people. i hope i'll manage to sell most of what i dish out, 'cause all the profits are going to the funding of my trip. :) P.S. the fair is this coming fri and sat (3rd-4th aug) from 10am-5pm! if you stay near the east or happen to be around the area, come and look-see-look-see! :)

talking about the trip, i may miss the twelve apostles 'cause it might be out of budget. it's like my top places-to-see! it's one of the things that are driving me on this trip, and the sad thing is we're most likely booking a hostel/budget hotel near the city. i mean, it's for the convenience, but it's bloody far from the twelve apostles and the great ocean road is such a loooong stretch and it's either u drive there or book a tour which will not be that cheap. arrrrrggghh.

i feel like exchanging my bagpack for a bigger one but i lost the receipt. it's 45L but now i have a feeling it's not gonna be big enough. oooops.

monday has already passed and i've yet to receive a call from m.a.c regarding the results. i have a feeling i didn't make it.. the makeup wasn't perfect 'cause i didn't give a final check of my work before i said i was done, so there were imperfections. sigh.. they're really strict when it comes to makeup and hygiene: u must never apply foundation using your fingers and mascara's applied in disposable wands; even concealor is picked using a cotton swab. no wonder m.a.c is such a reputable brand. plus, the makeup is really good. as i applied the makeup on my model, i couldn't help but want to buy the makeup for myself. heh. oh man, i really wish for a miracle that they were delayed in calling so i may still have a chance. sigh.

singtel sent me a msg today regarding some "sweet treats" they were offering. what caught my eye was the 2 tickets to bangkok for only $88 nett each, which means $176 nett for 2. and the registration ends 31st july, which means today. haha. i managed to send in, even though i never have the luck, it doesn't hurt to try right?

saw lester's email regarding the play "the jeweller's shop" written by the late pope john paul II. i'm really interested in it. it'll be up on the 4th, 5th & 6th sept. lester's booking tickets for 6th sept and if do block booking can get discount, less than the current price of $25 for student and $28 for adult. anyone wanna go with me?


this is the hardcover. the dvd didn't look so nice. :P

Review by www.catholiccompany.com:
Love is "one of the greatest dramas of human existence," writes Pope John Paul II. In this illuminating three-act play--here in the only English translation authorized by the Vatican--he explores relationships between men and women, the joys--and the pain--of love and marriage.
The action unfolds in two settings at once: a street in a small town, outside the local jeweler's shop (people go to buy their wedding rings there), and the mysterious inner landscape of personal hopes and fears, loves and longings.

Each act focuses on a different couple: the first happily planning their wedding, the second long-married and unhappy, the third about to marry but full of doubts. Writing with power and understanding about a love that survives the grave, a love that has withered and died, a love budding out of complexes and insecurities, the Pope addresses such fundamental human concerns as:

What does it mean to fall in love?
When do we know that a love is real--and can it last?
If it dies, how do we go on living--and loving again?

There are no easy answers, and there is no happy ending--such is the nature of men and women, and such is the nature of love--but there is hope, if we only acknowledge our need and accept the risks of a deep and lasting commitment.

This is a play full of wisdom on a subject of great relevance to all, and it provides a special insight into the thoughts of the man who, like no other, has captured the imagination of people of all faiths throughout the world.

Karol Wojtyla--Pope John Paul II--was long involved with the theater. As a student of literature, then priest, bishop and archbishop, he acted, directed, wrote dramatic criticism, made a Polish translation of Sophocles' Oedipus Rex, and authored six plays.

paprika is a must-watch! :)

Last fri i went for the interview at m.a.c, and yesterday they called to say i passed the 1st interview! the makeup test is this coming wed at raffles city robinsons. jas is going to be my model! i'm really so thankful 'cos she has her jap exam the next day yet she still agreed. just hope the test is not too difficult. >_< hopefully, without any hitches, i'll soon be working part-time at m.a.c counters.

things seem to be going well. the australia trip is confirmed: we got the visa ready and just short of booking the tickets, which i will get down to booking during the next couple of days. hurray! need to plan the itinerary soon.

i'm the kind that likes things organised, read up and plan before i go somewhere instead of waiting till i reach the place and start fumbling for the map. maybe that's why we had a disagreement on my borrowing aust guide books from the library, which, in my case, was totally uncalled for. :|

since he'll be working there for dunno how long, i'm planning to surprise him with some things he can bring to aust: a nice scarf, that cd that has classic chinese songs sung in jazz, a picture of us in a frame so he can look at it everyday.. heh. hmm.. i need to start saving for all that..

i've decided that colourful blog skins are too messy. difficult to update the template and to maintain it. plain and simple is the best. haha.. but the template is still quite sucky, so i might end up deleting this blog altogether. livejournal seems like a good option..

this coming mon, which is the day after tomorrow, i'm going to see dr. ong at niks maple clinic with grace and joyce. finally.. funny it seems like i've been waiting forever. was supposed to go to dr. ong with the rest of the girls but it's difficult for everyone to be able to make it on a certain day. nonetheless! ktv is still on on 1st aug!

the trip to melbourne seems confirmed yet unconfirmed. dunno what the heck is wrong with him. i mean, once u really decide on something then you don't keep hesitating or changing your mind, or else it won't be considered decided isn't it? don't make me get all frustrated about getting money for the plane ticket and then telling me it might not be confirmed. what the...

now i have to find a job urgently. partly for the trip and partly for the upcoming school fees, which, hopefully is my last year. i really can't afford to waste another year at sim. until the ecr, i didn't even know that u can't self-study anything more than twice, not a subject more than twice. instructions are misleading. :(

i know i know.. the blog's almost dead again.. but it seems like there's nothing much to post about now.. life's mostly a routine, except for meeting up with a couple of good ol' friends sometimes to chill and just hang out..

anyway, chinese new year certainly doesn't evoke the feelings in me anymore.. is it because i'm getting older? or am i mentally ageing? but! alas! i'm very looking forward to 4th feb! is anyone is free in the afternoon? please come and help me to chop the veggies and the meat and the whatevers.. haha. there're still quite a lot of people who haven't replied if they're coming.. :(

recently i've been wondering.. is it really bad if 2 people have nothing much to talk about on the phone? after the usual questions of how's ur day/how's work/how's class/have u eaten there's this pause afterwards which i can't explain. is the relationship in decline? if my guy is not my soulmate, then is he the one for me? or am i getting bored of this relationship? and i'm not really happy about the way things are going to turn out for the next few weeks or so. i'll just leave it at that.

i think i need someone who can give me surprises; routine after a long while gets really BORING.. and i get bored quite easily. i need someone that i can talk whatever shit to.. the good and bad shits.. or maybe i just don't have much shit happening in my life.. he's always at work, always tired.. i understand that, but that just means he doesn't have much life left for me.. it's not like it's going to be temporary. it's his job and it's gonna be the same thing for like dunno how many years? and i'm going to continue meeting him once a week for the next dunno how many years? all of a sudden i just feel very negative.. or i'm being too demanding..

sigh. better to not think about it. i'll just concentrate on getting ang baos. need money to buy food! :(

Omg. I just accidentally went back a page and now i've lost my entire entry!!!!! ARGGGGGHHHH!!!

Sucks.

Anyway! i remembered i first mentioned about today/yesterday's meeting with angie! Thanks hons! i had such a great time! and i'm still so damn glad i didn't buy that Warehouse top! haha.. and Thanks again for helping me pick the top i eventually loved so much! Whee! oh ya, we really should go back to eat the indian food again.. haha.

She told me about the 2 flashers and 1 pervert in her estate! hons, i hope you had a safe journey home! oh ya, i forgot to tell her that actually my neighbourhood once had a case that went on the newspapers.. it was many many years back, i think i was in primary school or something.. there was a rape case in one of the 5-room flat blocks.. it sounded really horrid when my mom told that to me.. *shudder*

So angie was supposed to leave before 10, but we ended up leaving at 10.. (oops) and i thought i could have a good night's sleep when i reach home.. but when i was packing for tomorrow's/today's lesson i realised i haven't done my microecons assignment that's due tomorrow/today.. Argh.

Anyway! it was a good thing i stayed up cos there was a surprise mail! MR WEE SENT A CHRISTMAS CARD! i wonder if the other A51 people have received it? If the date is correct, he's actually now in chiangmai.. date states 28th nov-28th dec, exactly one month.. which means! mr wee won't be able to attend the to-be-confirmed christmas party! :( but nevertheless, i'm sure he'll tremendously enjoy his time there.. sigh. after reading his card/letter, i'm starting to miss him... and miss A51 and SAJC days.. :(

okie, i have to go sleep or else i can't wake up in time for lecture tomorrow/today!

YAAAAAAAAAYS.

Guess wad! i had THE Cambridge Road chwee kueh this monrning for breakfast! haha.. i'm so contented.. :) i think i'm having it again tomorrow, cos my mom bought extra.. haha.

Sigh. i can't believe Christmas is coming! i was just around town yesterday and i happened to see so many wonderful things that i so wanna buy! but they cost quite a bomb :( SIGH. peipei advised me to shop on eBay where some of the stuff's cheaper! btw, for those who dunno, peipei was my ij tp classmate and my clubbing khaki! haha.. i still remember it was she and kim whom i gave my first time.. eh, i'm talking about clubbing la. tsk tsk tsk. hahaha...

Talking about Christmas, i'm thinking of organising a Christmas party for my jc mates! i doubt it'll be an official A51 thingy, but more of whoever can make it.. i'll see how.. might have to decorate the entire house too man! it's been a long time since my house was decorated for a Christmas party. i think i've only told Yansy about this.. msned her and was telling her that there might be a dresscode. haha.. eh, i'm seriously thinking about that you know? :P

Not only am i thinking about having a Christmas party, i've been pondering about repainting my room. it looks like it needs a brighter colour! and probably rearrange the furniture.. cos i don't think my parents are so nice to buy me some new ones. Saaaad. Maybe if i could just d.i.y. something from my old furniture.. if i start the floor plan and designs now i'm sure i can get it done before Christmas. haha. i think i'll start right now...

Omg. This is disastrous!

I'M CRAVING FOR THE CHWEE KUEH FROM CAMBRIDGE ROAD! WITH CHILLI AND LOTS OF CHAI PO PLEASE!

But luckily or unfortunately, there's no one to buy for me, nor is the stall open (i think).. SIGH.. i so love the chwee kueh from there! the chai po's so fragrant and i believe the chilli has hay bee.. delicious to the core..

Phew. Just finished revamping my blog. I thought the template looks nice, but i realised i made a huge mistake.. see the right-hand corner of the frame? It shouts "SUICIDE" with a toxic icon.. darn. Dear readers, please ignore that while i try to find a way to get rid of that word... Thank you very much for your cooperation. :)

If i have the time, i'll find another skin that is suicide-free and profanities-free and negative-thoughts-free.. haha.

Anyway, guess what? i jus got my new internet connection today! which means to say, i no longer need to hijack my neighbours' bandwidth.. haha. My mom has been nagging at me about hijacking other people's connection. She says it's a sin. Well, i feel that in a way, yes. Depends how you look at it. I saw it as you-dun-put-a-password-i'll-just-help-myself thing.. But i definitely feel much better having my own secure connection. No more d/cs anyway... haha.

After my serving of surfing, i'll be preparing tiramisu! Anyone who has a good tried and tested recipe please let me know k? haha. i'm officially a baking/dessert-making enthusiast. Er, actually i was since quite long ago.. lol. maybe i should convert this blog to a recipes site.. haha. I'm looking forward to trying out new recipes too! Recently got some sounds-good-looks-good dessert recipes online.. haha. Perhaps in the future i'll open a Auntie Anne II.. and definitely not selling pretzels.

Talking about desserts, i really need to have my dinner now man...

i overslept this morning, so i'm going for evening mass at 6.. i'm still tired actually, but since i'm still full from lunch, i thought it'd be good to update my blog (i know.. what took me so long, right?)


Anyway, been sleeping late these few days.. stayed up fri night till about 3am to bake Daf's birthday cheesecake (caramel toffee cheesecake.. want the recipe?), which i'd promised I would do. it was worthwhile, i guess, cos most of them liked it, and i have "orders" for birthdays.. haha. i'll see how by then.. oh! and i've learnt how to make muah chee! haha.. daf's mom taught us.. and there's khalsa, or kalsa, or is it calsa?! whatever, but it was GOOD.. gonna add that to my list of recipes.. besides my "famous" pork rolls.. haha.


btw, i have an interview tomorrow, at amk.. hoping to get that job or any job, for that matter. i'm dying for something that generates income!


oh ya, i haven't forgotten that i'm accompanying angie to Holy Spirit church this coming wed! gonna be a new thing for me too cos i haven't been to other churches' RCIA or RCIY.. not that i've been attending Risen Christ's RCIY.. but i'm looking forward to it cos uncle david's told me a little about the RCIA/Y there..


oh my! zhen qing is on.. haha.. i have no idea why i still enjoy watching its re-runs.. more like re-re-runs.. haha..

Your dating personality profile: Religious - Faith matters to you. It is the foundation that you build your life upon. You trust that God has a plan for you. Stylish - You do not lack for fashion sense. Style matters. You wouldn't want to be seen with someone who doesn't care about her appearance. Liberal - Politics matters to you, and you aren't afraid to share your left-leaning views. You would never be caught voting for a conservative candidate.

Your date match profile: Athletic - You aren't looking for a couch potato. You seek someone who is active and who keeps her body in top shape. Religious - You seek someone who is grounded in faith and who possesses religious values. You believe that a religious person can enhance your life. Conservative - Forget liberals, you need a conservative match. Political discussions interest you, and a conservative will offer the viewpoint you need.

Your Top Ten Traits 1. Religious 2. Stylish 3. Liberal 4. Athletic 5. Outgoing 6. Wealthy/Ambitious 7. Adventurous 8. Traditional 9. Big-Hearted 10. Romantic

Your Top Ten Match Traits 1. Athletic 2. Religious 3. Conservative 4. Outgoing 5. Stylish 6. Traditional 7. Practical 8. Adventurous 9. Intellectual 10. Big-Hearted

Take the Online Dating Personality Quiz at Dating Diversions

I HATE ANNE'S BF. HE MAKES DAMN NICE SUSHI FOR ANNE. HE DESERVES TO . OKAY NEVERMIND.
anyway! i am weishan!! and next to me are fran and anneanne!!!!!! we love tay eng soon library!!!! :))))

sharn: anne's ibook is very noisy:/ agree fran??
fran: yah yah.

fran: and her ibook refuses to load my blog. this is so unfair!!!!

sharn: fran types very slowly.

fran: i know that.

sharn; anyway we miss anne very much and this is the only way to get her to update her blog:)
yay.

anne: thanks to sharn and fran :) now my blog is updated!!!
sharn: uhm wow.
fran: quit staring at me typing slowly. anyway, i will come here to study more often!!! there is cheapfood here!!!

sharn: OKAY BYE BYE BYE!!!! ANNE IS EATING IN TAY ENG SOOON LIBBBB.
THATS A SIN.
fran: TSSSSSSK TSSSSSSK TSSSSSSK.


okay byes for real!

Whee!


I've got myself an iBook AND an iPod mini!! (Mom paid of cos.. haha)
But ya! It's more than i ever imagined..


But there's not much wireless network around my place, so I'm still using the home com to come online.. All other stuff are still done on the lappy.. (wonder if I should name it??!! HAHA!) I was talking to Greg about naming both the lappy and the mini, and i was saying if I do, the names should be a pair, like Jack&Jill or Haagen&Daz.. haha.. something corny. But it's just an idea.. haha.


Anyway, I'm still a little blur about some stuff, so Ra's meeting me in sch next week to help me configure.. yays.. and have lunch at the same time :)


So.. Meanwhile I better start reading through Soci notes.. it's been a while since i read Soci! arg.

Ahahahaaa...


I know i haven't been blogging, but i hardly come online anyway.. (unless i get my own laptop) Haha.


So.. Updates.
Hmm.
I've been busy, just finished my mock exam last week, and my UOL and local revision classes are commencing next Monday. AND, until now, I still can't believe I'm going for night classes. What a bother. Oh well, I'm not gonna break my consistency, so I'm declaring these 2 months to be officially Anne's Revision Months. HA-HA.


At least there's something to take my mind off school this Friday: IT Fair at Suntec Convention Centre. Gonna go down to take a look at the laptops.. Mac of cos.. It's a good chance to get an iBook.. but a slim chance to get sponsored for one.. :(


Besides, I have yet to start saving for the Creative Zen Micro.. hmph. Even so, by the time I've saved up for one, it's probably out of stock. Haha.


Oops, time for dinner!
FYI: I'll try to update the blog in future.. HAHA..

My eyes are puffy.


Sometimes i just wished that painful memories could be forgotten instantly, like you'd go to bed and wake up not remembering anything that happened the day before.. (something like the Adam Sandlers and Drew Barrymore movie.. i know..) yea, i wish i could.


Suddenly i'm left wondering whether it is wrong of women to need affection. Even though hugs and kisses are not the only expressions of love, what's so bad about showering them on your loved ones? At least i don't think that's bad..


-sigh- never have i once thought that talking to a person could be so difficult.. or rather, voicing my own thoughts could be so difficult.. Escapism is not a solution, but what can i do when i can think of no other? -double sigh- things can get real tough when two persons are on totally different frequencies..


shit. Talking about frequencies, i still have tons of stats homework to clear.(what with the observed frequency and expected frequency) arg. what a time to be reminded of homework.. and of exams. Mock is in Feb/Mar, revision spans Mar-May, and THE real thing starts before mid-May. Talk about stress man..


To think i was looking forward to hols. Seems like it'll take forever to occur..

My latest acquaintances:

• Karl Marx
• Max Weber

Not that they're exactly new to me, but i don't really know them very well. -shrug-

While they're supposed to be my very good friends, or that is what i'm trying to make of them, it is exhausting and brain-draining to write a 4-5 pages of assignment on how they contributed to the rise of modern capitalism.

The wonders of Sociology...

-pinch nose-

My blog smells mouldy! haha.. seriously, i have absolutely no idea why i have this habit of neglecting my blog. That's because... i hardly go online at all!! -hmph-

At long last, i have the com all to myself: my bro has found work, at Island Country Club or something like that.. $6.50 per hr.. that lucky boy. well, u can guess, it's his 1st day of work today! He was telling me yesterday, he'll manage to earn about 1.4K if he worked an entire month: thinking so far when he hasn't even started work yet...

-sigh- I would like a job too! Just that i'm not so free yet. I've actually been thinking of giving tuition, but i'm not confident of teaching anything else 'cept Maths.. -bigger sigh-

Oh well, it's best to concentrate on school and CYF for now, and plus an ahem.. haha. -sigh- Speaking of CYF, my term ends tonight, along with 11 others. Come to think of it, the year has passed rather quickly, after so many sessions, after all our meetings, suddenly i can't bear to step down. But of course i will have to.. I guess it's a new responsibility from tomorrow onwards! Actually i don't feel that i've done much, especially when i was busy with work at the beginning of the year, and even after.. perhaps much of the enthusiasm has left me? The lack of energy and all.. All that's been done cannot be undone, and what's unsaid's been left unsaid.. ahhhhhh.. Whatever. Now, it's looking forward, not looking back.

There's still so much to do in December: school+assisgnments+test (yearning for that 1 wk break), caroling+pract, friends' birthdays, Christmas+celebration+presents.. and then there's orientation tomorrow. Woah, Jam-packed month is an understatement! I hope i still have some space to breathe..

Whoo! Just got my com back! i mean, my com crashed a few days ago! Luckily, my uncle came to help, and most of the stuff has been recovered, and almost everything's back to normal.. phew. Ain't i glad we didnt have send the cpu all the way to HP HQ to reformat.. that would have been the case if my uncle didnt offer to help man..

Anyway! The trip to Malaysia was fun! The food was great and i gained a good 1kg!! ahhhhhh!!! -screams at the new addition to the family of spare tyres- trying to lose the weight now.. but seems like once my appetite increases, it's so tough to get back into shape -like there was one in the beginning-.. -cries-

-sigh- sch's getting boring.. that's like a disaster, cos i'm aiming to do well for 1st year exams.. but that's in may 2005.. not too near, not too far.. but considered far more fortunate than nus-ers and ntu-ers i guess.. hahaha.. oops. lessons are getting quite out-of-hand as well.. with morning-class people going for afternoon classes (which they're not supposed to) and Meena lagging so much in math (cos we're starting stats soon --> math classes will end).. and me screwing up my accounts assignment.. -SIGH- things are sure not looking gd, but i guess i'll get by.. >_-

3 more days to Malaysia.. hm.. i don't sound exactly very excited huh.. maybe that's cos i've been waiting so long that the excitement's going down? it's more of feeling nervous now.. imagine facing so many people you've never met before at one go...

uh oh.. maybe i haven't told that many people.. i'm going to malaysia with my other-half, back to his hometown for his cousin's wedding dinner.. so i'll be gone from 7th - 11th Oct (thurs night to mon morning)

no worries about it.. got my parents' permission, and i know how to take care of myself. yup. will be back in time to rest and then go for accounts lecture..

i'm supposed to start packing today.. but i dunno why.. maybe cos i'm not feeling so well.. or maybe it's the few tiffs we went thru this few weeks.. i mean, i'm not the kind who gives up easily, so a few quarrels here and there doesn't get me down.. but i don't want to go to malaysia without making sure that we're alright, that I can forget and put all those quarrels behind me and not think so much about them for a few days.. i dunno..

just yesterday i was replying his letter.. wrote all my feelings down.. but now i'm not so sure whether i should continue writing or tear it up. i'm afraid that he might feel that i'm the one who keeps complaining about his faults yet i'm the one who's hurting him.. i just don't know where to start now and what to write..

forget it.. i should just try to forget it now and start packing.

i'm back! been at home all day.. with nothing much to do.. actually i do have my soci test to study for, but it's so dry i can't stand taking another look at the notes.. urghh. -yawn- feeling kinda lethargic and exhausted these few days.. even though this week's a break from sch. oh yea, í'm so bored i just repainted my nails!! hahaha.. i am sooo BORED! -stares at fingernails- hm, they're a nice pale pink.. hehe.

-sigh- i was supposed to send email out just now, but the stupid server was down.. now how am i going to explain myself.. hmph.

-yawn- maybe i should just go wash my brain with a little of kid's central for awhile.. hee..

gosh. refurnishing and "reopening" of blog!
isn't that refreshing.. :)

however, i've not much to blog.. life's pretty much a routine, now that uni has started. (it's been a month already! how fast time passes!) school's like the past, i mean, it's A level style. Tons of readings to be zapped (Sharn! i wish u were here to persuade the photocopying auntie to zap entire books for us!!) haha, anyway there isn't a photocopying auntie, so there. i'm sure i'm a certified photocopying lady in the making, along with chelle..

i was on the bus with grace on sat, (cos we've got math in thee morning) and suddenly we were missing the times we spent in SA, i ,mean, with our super fun and enthu and loud classmates! maybe we should have a class reunion again soon.. hm. but with the girls busy with school and the guys "slogging their guts out" in ns, i wonder who'll have the time?

well, even if school work doesn't get us down, i've still got church.. and someone whom i need to see every night before i go to bed.. haha. maybe i'll talk about him some other time; just what is good to know is, we're happy.. that's really good enough for the moment in time, i guess. :)

will try to update "new" blog regularly (somehow), but gtg for now..

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ok, i didn't stick to my plan..

now the teaching job's off, and i'm back to sakae bugis.. it's kinda sad actually, i do miss the kids.. should've taken their pics before i left.. now they're only just a memory..

so far, i've started at bugis for only 2 days.. actually i shouldn't be going back there, but maybe i just didn't want to change environment.. it felt quite good to see familiar faces anyway.. also, work shouldn't be much tougher since i'm already used to it.. haha.

btw, checked out ACCA courses last week.. ok, they're internationally recognised, but they may have a slightly higher tuition fee on the whole and it's more difficult than accountancy at ntu.. most of the students there take the ACCA course as an additional skill, for example, ntu students taking ACCA course part-time.. furthermore, even if i do get the degree, i'm not sure if i'll get a job easily with it.. seems like ntu degrees get u into a job faster, in singapore that is! gonna check out other alternatives soon, like university of london..

argh, what's gonna happen if i don't get into ntu? i mean, they're (local unis) not the only universities around, but it'll definitely make things easier if i did get in. argh argh argh. this is frustrating.

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oh, did i tell anyone i cried quite badly during Passion Of The Christ? hee...

oh well, work's been ok! am glad sakae work is over and that i'm quite enjoying myself at PCF Nee Soon Central's PAP Kindergarten.. currently helping some teachers with the nursery and K1 classes.. i'm not ready to take over the classes though, so i'm mostly observing lessons and all. so far i've learnt that kids can be real cute and mischevious.. and there are some who really do not deserve your sympathy. haha. there seriously exists spoilt brats who disgust me.. ugh. oh well, i'm wondering how long i'll be there.. i'm giving myself a few more weeks just to make sure i don't make a wrong decision. come to think of it, it's thanks to God that i managed to get this teaching job.. He's answered my prayers alright.. hee.

oh ya. i've also applied to work as a part-timer at Sakae.. again. this time it's bugis.. didn't really think of getting a second job after the kindergarten job, but recently i thought something bad was gonna happen so i had to save for a rainy day.. part-time over at sakae has not been confirmed, so meanwhile i'll jus continue teaching while waiting for bugis' news..

gonna return to choir as well.. seems like life's gonna be really busy huh. waiting for ira to go back for choir pract together.. and i gotta get ready for june's session as well.. hm, i should be able to juggle everything, i hope.

ooh, gotta check out ACCA about their courses as well.. i should be studying part-time while working.. cos i guess my chances at ntu's gonna be very slim.. might as well decide whether i'll be taking the accountancy course or the teaching course... yup, results are not good so i have to find alternatives, don't i?

okiez, gotta go soon. manager from bishan's leaving for the funan branch tomorrow, so tonight's the farewell party..

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ok. i've officially resigned from sakae sushi.. tendered on 2nd april, day after april fool's. i actually intended to resign on april fool's day, but i thought my manager wouldn't believe me.. ha. well, as i've told quite a lot of people, my last day of work will be on 16th april, this coming fri.. yays.

besides my resignation, there's a big thing that has happened.. i haven't told many people, and i don't really intend to announce it to everyone.. just feel like keeping it down and all, and wait till it has settled.. shhh for those who know..

now i have to start thinking about other stuff, such as my next job.. hm. i wonder what kind of experience a kindergarten teacher would get.. i dunno if there's still a place for me, but what i know is, my dad's friend who is the principal had offered me a chance to teach the kids at his kindergarten school.. (now i really see the wonders God can do) which is somewhere in yishun. i'm excited at the prospect of teaching the kids, especially my fav subs like math, art, or even english or chinese! it sounds like fun, but i'm sure teaching is not just about providing knowledge but also about passion and patience. for all i know, the kids could be so playful and rowdy they'd be giving me headaches everytime i see them.. haha. if there is really still a place for me at the kindergarten after my last day at sakae, i'm sure teaching will help me partly in choosing my career path: accountant or teacher. if i cant handle kinds nor teach with passion, i seriously won't consider teaching to be a career option. it's much too risky for kids to get a boring and she-doesn't-know-how-to-teach teacher. i vaguely remember a teacher from ij who told us that it's not the teachers who are important, it's yourself. it's only partly true, cos i feel that, without a teacher with love for teaching and love for the students, including having good communication skills and knowing how to teach (that's very important), most students wouldn't understand the subject.. at least for me, that is. (i better not mention names)

enough of my "teaching" thoughts.. btw, it's Easter Sunday already! Happy Easter everyone! we should rejoice for our Lord has risen! i feel that this yr, even though i've been buried in work, i've at least found time to prepare myself for Easter.. through Lent, even though it was kinda last minute this yr, i managed to do my reflections and confession. i'm the lazy kind who goes for confession when the time calls for it.. i admit that. but this yr, it feels kinda special. after confession (or rather, penance) i felt more relieved and sorta felt like i was a new me. even though the confession lasted shorter than the previous yr, i'm glad i put my heart into it, especially the prayer after. i've come to know it's the amount of effort we put into trying not to sin that counts.. to feel guilty about our sins are not enough, cos we can't keep giving ourselves the excuse that "the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak" so that we can continue to sin. we have to remember our faults and make sure we try our best not to sin.. that is how i feel i can prepare myself.. if i truly love the people around me, i wouldn't keep hurting them, in either words, thoughts or deeds.. sounds familiar eh..

hm, that reminds me of "Passion of the Christ".. will blog abt it next time round.. gotta catch sleep or else i won't be able to catch the 11am mass tom with archie.. haha. oops. i mean the archbishop.. zzzz...

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been thinking alot lately.. about work, about school (applications, that is), about family, about my faith.. maybe it's because i'm not making enough time for God, that's why things don't seem so right. yet God has been helping me in mysterious ways..

i went for Praise and Worship session (it was great and everyone truly enjoyed it), some of the songs got me thinking, and i thought i got depressed for a while.. well, God answered my prayers. uncle david came down and we chatted for quite a while, and he asked me how i was doing and all.. so told him about my grades and he gave me all the advice i needed with regards to uni decisions. only a few days before session i actually wrote a letter to Mother Mary asking her for help and her prayers, and even though i havent sent it, i'm almost thoroughly relieved that my problems are solved.

one down, many more to go..

recently i've started to realise that perhaps sakae isn't the job for me. i've spent all of my energy and commitment on work and all it has was take me away from God and my family. i mean, the money is useful, i can help relieve my parents on the financial side, etc. but i realise i cant make it down for sessions, meetings and even stations of the cross during this yr.. i'm still in a dilemma.. was supposed to hand in resignation letter yesterday, but i thought i let my colleagues and asst manager talk me out of quitting so soon. i tell myself i'll work for another week or so, if things are still going bad i'll have to resign, no matter who says what. besides, my mom has been bugging me to find another job, but sometimes it's not that easy, and i don't think she understands me on this point. much has happened ever since collection of A's results..

i suddenly feel i'm at one of my greatest turning point in my life.. everything jus seems so tense, my decisions are a mess, here and there, not complete, not firm enough. the pressure is starting to add onto me, and i feel like i need a shoulder to lean and cry on..

there was another incident that happened this week.. on the night before i wrote the letter to Mother Mary, my dad atarted throwing all the dinner and whatever was on the table to one corner of the kitchen. i didnt witness it, cos it happened like 5 mins before i returned home from work, but it was a damn big mess. glass and porcelain all over the kitchen floor and both my mom and my brother were jus cleaning everything up. i was momentarily stunned at what my dad did. i mean, he never ever threw things before and i think job has drove him to a limit.. probably not jus job alone cops my mom was nagging at him for not guiding my bro to get his freaking hands off the keyboard. everytime i think of my family now, i have tons of problems pooping up in my mind.. my dad and his work, my mom gving me stress, my brother refusing to wake up from his addiction to the com..

i just feel somehow, helpless. and undecided. perhaps God will clear the road for me..

finally updated blog layout.. but not completed yet..

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I Love Sneakers!

Sneakers- funny, laid-back, and goofy, you love to
make people laugh and have a good time. You
enjoy comfort and don't care to much about what
people think of you. You like to hang out with
your buddies and just have a good time. [please
vote! thank you! :)]


What Kind of Shoe Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

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phew. seems like i'm bloggin for the first time in my life.. hee.
i seemed to have left my blog hanging ever since work became a part of my life.. and i'm not sure if i like it..
i think work has left other responsibilities hanging as well..
btw, for those whom i havent told, i've been transferred to the Bishan outlet. it's been almost a week since i've started work there.. first few days at Bishan had been HELL. seriously, i missed Bugis and the peeps there like crazy.. work would be so different without them.. and mu..

well, i dunno if i can survive this week. if i can, it sure means i'll be permanently situated at Bishan, and goodbye to Bugis..

oh no, results coming out next week. i have a bad feeling i'm going to retake my A's.. or rather a premonition.. -shrug- i'm hoping to enter uni though..

ok, gotta go work soon.. (again)

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-sigh- i'm tired. sleepy. muscles aching. toes hurting.
i wonder why today was such a taxing day at work.. perhaps it's a public hol, but we've been through that before.. i mean those busy times.. i'm surprised that all of us had gotten so tired by dinner time.. maybe because there weren't that many people today..

and i'm still depressed. and i haven't got the guts to tell my mom. and i won't be clubbing for about a month at least (most probably, unless i can get over it so quickly). this is so exasperating. i pray my stuff could be found... $200 freakin plus bucks, when will i ever earn it back? plus all the sentimental stuff?!?!?!

i do not want to think anymore. i'm going to sleep.

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ok.. so what's wrong with the shoutbox????? playing hide-and-seek?

hm, actually i don't exactly feel like blogging.. but since i'm online.. i mean rarely online...

there's nothing i can talk about mostly, except work, nowadays. and work's been... work. quite fun in a way i get to know new people, although 90% are younger.. -_- it makes me, i dunno, feel younger? think younger? talk younger? i'm definitely not a 19 year old at work.. haha. all of them never thought i'd be 19.. (ok so do i really look that young? cant be the new hairdo) but we click well, all of us are united against one person.. one of the manager trainee aka Pighead or Spiky, etc. -lol- yesterday, we were even suggesting a riot against him.. haha. hm, i feel especially chatty during work, probably cos it tends to be kinda boring when there's no one in the restaurant (the bugis outlet is considered large-scale) and for eg, yesterday, there were like 10 staff to 2 customers for a short period of time.. gee. but don't get the idea that the place is always that empty.. cos we often get full-house in the evening.. and for those working the closing shift (2.30-11.30pm) like me.. will have to get real busy..

i wonder when's the test.. i definitely have to excel it of cos, or i'll get the sack. haha.. anyway the test was supposed to be on tue.. but it's already fri.. hm. and i wonder when mu and i will be transferred to the toa payoh outlet.. actually i won't mind if we don't, cos i've grown to like the bugis outlet.. with xiao pei our supervisor and alex our asst manager.. maybe i should ask xiao pei whether i could stay.. heh. since bugis is not really that far for me.. (even though mu and i have been discussing how we can walk or cycle to toa payoh if we were transferred there >_<)

ok, enough talk.. it's my off day today and i'm not spending every min in front of the com! i'm going out!

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Happy Chinese New Year's Eve everyone.. (even though it doesn't feel like CNY to me..) wonder why the new year spirit hasn't permeated the air this year? maybe it's because most of my friends are working, and i'm not looking forward to going to my paternal relative's house.. hmph. what does CNY really mean? new clothes? ang baos? spring cleaning? or does it entail being nicer to people around you, especially your loved ones.. doing a bit of sacrificing for them and such.. just food for thought..

funny that CNY feels so much different this year.. no trips to chinatown, no one coming over to my place, i'm not even feeling excited.. worse thing is, SAT is on 2nd day of CNY.. to add on to that i gotta go for work... -sigh- now it's work, work and more work. no more crazy shopping, watching movies, free afternoons.. just work. and maybe no more sessions.. but i'll try to get a morning shift on a fri..

oh yea.. work means no more clubbing as well.. but there's a chinablack party this sat.. but i'm night shift.. hm.. contemplating..

hm.. i've survived a week at Sakae.. so far so good.. except for a fall a few days ago and yesterday's closing. tiring is not even enough to describe how i felt after that.. but i won't quit. i've decided to stay till june/july and i will do it, but not necessarily full-time.. if i can't juggle work and church at the same time, i'll opt for part-time, even if it means less pay.. i felt bad for not being able to attend last week's core team meeting, but i hope i won't have to miss the next one.. camp's coming up as well, and i don't have much idea about what i'm assigned to do.. hmm.. sometimes work really takes the time and life out of you..

oh talking about work.. i met Peiwei at far east yesterday. mu, weiling and i were shopping for auyong's present, then i realised Peiwei was working part-time at Blizz.. somehow almost everyone's having an easier job than mine.. -sob- well, i ended up buying a bottle of moisturiser from her.. haha. (c'mon, who doesn't know my weakness?)

-sigh- the only thing on my mind now should be SAT.. argh. which i'm totally unprepared for. jan 24th never seemed so near before..

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whee! guess who i had lunch with yesterday!! i was with Sharn.Sharn!!! we were supposed to meet at wheelocks at 1.15pm.. i was late as usual.. oops. >_< anyway! we squeezed into a very crowded N.Y.D.C., and talked and talked and talked.. and of cos ate and ate.. haha. this lunch is truly one of the best i ever had!! thanx sista! -big hug- and we're so going back there again right? (we have to have the desserts the next time...)

oops! i totally forgot to post the good news.. not wonderful, but good.. yup. I'M EMPLOYED! starting training this coming tuesday.. for 2 weeks.. after i graduate (i assume i'll be! :P), i'll be posted to the toa payoh branch.. Sakae Sushi. yays. it pays ok.. ok job better than no job! anyway i need the experience, as much as possible! i was quite nervous when i spoke to mona yesterday.. cos i had to commit till july and the job required me to work on the weekends.. and both shifts cut right into choir.. my nerves were uncalled for anyway.. mona's always an understanding choir mistress..

oh yea.. back track to fri.. had a really great time with jo and ira! we went back to ij to visit the teachers.. but we were quite a distraction cos we were searching the whole sec 3 and 4 blocks for ms jac yip.. every class we passed i saw familiar faces, basically cos three-quarters of the female population in CYF and choir are in ij tp. hahaha. i'm not kidding. thereafter we found ms jo teo walking briskly towards her staff room.. she really lost a lot of weight! too bad she was rushing to class, or we could've grabbed her for a chat.. and we did find ms yip.. except she was rushing off to class as well.. that's for visiting ij during school hours.. anyway, we went up to the general office and ended up chatting for an hour or so with our principal ms theodora tan.. -sigh- my stomach was already growling like mad at that time, but all that talk actually made me forget i was freakin hungry.. of cos, we left ij determined to get good food.. (no point eating at ij canteen cos the old stalls were no longer there. otherwise, chiong the canteen food man) yays. swensons fish and chips was heavenly.. and the light mint sundae (with fudge...yum!) after that was just... drooo-licious.. we went to the one at ps btw. we had hoped to go to Fish and Co's, but it's ok.. we'll leave it for next time.. heh.

CYF: it was movie night for session.. everyone packed into the hot and humid CYF room (new aircon fittings weren't up yet) to watch "Dancing with the wolves".. which was one movie which i didn't quite get.. it was fun to watch the part about the red indians though.. it was basically a serious show with a little humour here and there.. i think the younger members weren't ready to understand the show, and i guess some of them were probably dozing off..(maybe until the red indians part haha) it was good nonetheless, even though i didnt get the whole story.. most probably gonna show the remaining movie next week after the session by Les, G bear, Kel and me.. we'll be presenting our pilgrimage to Rome! whee! exciting...

eeks. jus realised i haven started preparing for SAT on 24th.. argh. i think i'm gonna miss a day of training.. if there is training on saturdays.. weird huh. SAT on a SATurday. heehee.

well, guess that's about it for the week.. wonder why i'm not blogging much.. basically cos i cant even get the stupid com.. haha. gotta pry my bro off the com to use it.. serious. yesterday, i waited for my bro to get off the com till i fell asleep.. it's so what-the.. maybe i should seriously start making a roster. but as if he'll stick to it.... argh.

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-hyperventilating-
i'm still excited from the butt-numbing, action-filled, noise-inspiring (only from me actually), last-part-of-the-trilogy tolkien movie.. LOTR - Return of the King!!!! i'm sorry for those who've watched it a million times since it's grand opening on... wad, 18 dec '03? well, i've FINALLY watched it TODAY!! (ok, call me a loser, whatever.. -roll eyes-) haha.. i've adopted this habit of asking lots of questions like "does the undead soldiers come after this???" or "why the hell is smeagol not dead yet?!" and then "omg! look at that! legolas is so handsome..." (at the part where he coolly slid off the elephant's trunk) -drool- and "omg! aragorn looks good too!" i think steph was super bugged by me, but oh well, what's done cannot be undone.. haha. i HAVE to get the dvd for LOTR man...

oh yea.. here's wishing shamu a very Happy (though belated) Birthday!!! i'm such a shithead for not wishing u on time.. sorry! fyi, i've known mu since.. we were born?!?! something like that yea.. cos we used to be neighbours and our moms knew each other.. and we've played together ever since.. whee.. mu and i have gone a long way.. from childhood neighbours to tuition mates, to ij mates, then to jogging/gym kakis (is this how it's spelled?).. she's always been there for me.. love ya mu! we gotta go gym sometime yea? :) cos i've been missing gym ever since i came back from rome.. argh. (oh yea, mu! i was so touched when u and ur mom sent me off at the airport! thankyou so much! -muackz-)

btw, onto a sad note.. i'm still JOBLESS. i consider that a disaster since my mom's been hounding about this.. i was so mad at her yesterday for scolding me about not getting a job. i was like wad the?!?! i've applied for 3 jobs already and she makes it sound like i havent even tried. i was so hurt by her words. she jus doesnt understand it sometimes, and she doesnt even think before she speaks.. (sounds like someone huh? haha.. joking) and she seems to be forcing me to get employed.. hey i'm not my own boss u know.. she jus makes it so difficult for me.. so far i've only told steph (i think) about my new year resolution.. if things are gonna get worse, i dunno how i'm gonna fulfill it. -pulls hair-

hm.. onto happier stuff.. (ok, not exactly happy, but ya) chinese new yr's coming! i hope mom/dad decides to buy the purple sofa case! and maybe we should start repainting some parts of the house where the paint is peeling.. and to really clean up the house.. to welcome the new yr! maybe to rearrange the furniture as well.. i hate it when people walk past our house and see everything that goes on in the living room AND the kitchen.. no privacy at all.. (nope! we're not closing the door! it's getting hot in here.. so take off... ahem) maybe i should do what steph has done for her door.. hang something to cover.. si? no? argh. my house needs a revamp!! my room needs a revamp!!

actually i'm quite excited for new yr.. i always have the notion that we should get new stuff.. haha. like a new hairstyle? new clothes? new shoes? some new furniture? new attitude towards life? new responsibilities??? something along this line... now that i'm onto new yr.. was thinking about having a chinese new yr party at my place.. wasnt really (actually, not at all) keen to visit some relatives.. and i guess it's either cyf or A51.. now that's a difficult decision.. but that is if my mom has no objection to it.. haha.

so... wait for the good news yea? if i'm lucky i may get both cyf and A51 to come.. haha.

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Happy New Year's Eve everyone!
today's gonna be a good day!
gonna celebrate the new yr 2004 with a bang at sean's place! red wine anyone?? hee.
oh yea, went for sam fern's house for dinner yesterday! her mom's a great cook btw.. you couldnt get enough of the nasi lemak and devil's curry! -lick lips-
and thanx sam once again for the present! i'm going to be super sparkly from now on! :P

well, i'm stuck at home now, rotting away.. desperately wanting to catch LOTR with no success, cos everyone else seems to have watched it long ago... (while i was enjoying in rome) gee, talk about opportunity cost man. gotta catch School Of Rock as well man! hm, what's in for Scary Movie 3, really?

ok, so i said i'd be uploading rome pics.. but the stupid msn jus hasnt enough space for thee precioussssss pics.. and i've failed to post up the grad night photos.. oh no, i'm such a nut at the com.. maybe i should try yahoo..

oh well, i applied for a job yesterday. (finally) hope they call me asap and employ me! >_< otherwise i'm back to square one.. talking about jobs, i ever wondered about getting one at a club.. it'll be fun! except it means late nights, and parents' disapproval i guess.. haha. they're not that enthu about me clubbing anyway.. and talking about clubbing.. monday night was a rrrreal party! lotsa j1s i suppose, but who cares when there's great music? as usual it's at chinablack.. this time much better than the last.. this is probably one of the last few parties i'm attending.. that is if i get the job.. sob. kinda sad eh? haha. the funniest thing was, i managed to stay awake, cos ltc happened to end that evening at 5plus.. it's a wonder i could climb out of bed and into chiong-ing stuff.. lol.

speaking of ltc, it's been a wonderful experience. no doubt we were sleepy-eyed half the time through the intensive sessions, nevertheless events of the camp were deeply etched into our minds. the sessions we had: history of the church, aims of cyf, planning skills, presentation skills, calling "lester's dad", having our meals together (popiah!), p&w, POW, operations COJO and JOCO (haha), the knock-it-downs.. i'm sure the team has gotten to know each other relatively better, but we still need lotsa work on that.. last but not least, great big thanx to everyone on the team: sean (BOSS), isabelle (though absent but i'm sure she was spiritually with us!), seb, darren, shawn, kel, sam, kirstin, elsa, joachim and ethelbert, and the advisors and leaders: tee, les, cally, colin, g-bear, jon, lai, and uncle david who came to visit us.. thanx for all the guidance, the lessons, advice, and inspiration.. i'm sure the core team 2004 will make it through all of your help!

a personal thought.. stepping up already takes a lot of guts, but loving the members takes even more. it's definitely not easy.. u gotta put in effort to love every single one of them, even if your opinion of any of them could change for the worse throughout the yr, even if you are afraid of the person.. selflessness, that's what it is. would i be able to achieve even a little of that? setting a good example to the members? consistently throughout the yr? i know everything will fall into place as long as i put God first, but we always have worries since we're not perfect. leadership is actually quite stressful when it comes to serving. as it is said, the first will be the last.. just as jesus stooped down to wash his disciples feet, we have to humbly serve our members.. well, in the first place, leadership was never about who did what better and who was always the first.. as long as whatever we do, we do with God in our heart and with love and sincerity.. that's the most important. and another thing is to be true to ourselves. that means a lot as well.. well, that's how i feel at least. since i've not done much reflections before and after ltc, it's about time i did it.. so.. yup.

ok, gotta end off.. lunch is here!

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hey all!!!!!! i'm back from ROME!!!!! no simple words can describe my trip i tell u.. it's great, wonderful, fulfilling, fun, amazing, breath-taking... and these still dont do Rome any justice! lester, sherwin, gilbert, kelvin, josephine and i spent a good one week in rome, and Assisi on the last night... i really dunno what to say! i snapped tons of pictures, and mine wasnt even the most... not pro pics, but i'll try to upload them all the same (dont worry, this time my com is not gonna screw up and kill the pics, and plus g-bear has kindly burnt them into a cd so they're safe!) whee! we visited the main basiilicas such as St Peter's, St Paul's, St John's, etc. the Pantheon, the Vatican Museum, and so on. will name them as i upload the pics k? cos it's getting damn late and i've ltc later in the morn... eeks.

just to let everyone dear know i'm back home safely! the plane trip back home was in fact quite uncomfortable, and the food not as delectable, but nonetheless, it didnt make the trip any less fun! (provided i bought a bottle of duty-free baileys at the airport! :P) btw it was a 9hr ++ flight from rome to bangkok, then another 2hr ++ back to singapore.. phew-whee. i'm glad the flights are over. aww man, i miss Rome... (i've promised myself i'll go back again sometime, probably with family) there's just to much to tell! anyone interested to see the pics asap can come over to my place or something! i did quite a few videos on my cam too :) (should have done more actually)

one more thing. to everyone, MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! some people would've gotten the cards late cos i wrote them in rome and i just sent them tonight.. haha. i'm so sorry about that. anyway, christmas somehow felt a little different this yr.. maybe a little quieter?? maybe it was because i was damn jet-lagged that i couldnt sense the christmas spirit? (well, i came back from the airport, unpacked, then met steph in town) ended kinda sleepy-headed.. but managed to pull through midnight mass.. cheers to Christus Laudatur Voce Choir for their well done pageant! except for the batteries that went dead half way through mona's song!! lol. the dancers were great too, though kinda stiff (definitely from the nerves yea) gave out presents after mass.. (did the last min shopping after i came back.. eeps) i'll have to try to do something for everyone next yr man, feel bad about missing out quite a lot of people for the presents.. >_< oh yea, it was sam koh's house this yr again for christmas! it's a cyf tradition for a member to open up his or her house for all the peeps to go and celebrate, eat, etc, and stay over.. if they want to. it was good cos sam's place, which is at Riverwalk apartments, has a open floor area at the 5th storey, where there's a pool, pavilion, bbq area and tennis area! big space for us to wander around.. it was fun, though once again kinda quiet, not too much people.. when i reached there i regretted wearing my thin and sleeveless top.. the wind was so strong! luckily greg lent me his jacket.. and i dozed off while listening to colin's lame jokes 2003.. haha. remind me to tell them next time!

ok, that's about it for christmas night.. gotta catch some sleep now before i oversleep for 6.30am mass later! >_< ciao!

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OH-MY-GAWD.
u can never imagine how it feels like to be in the indoor stadium, sitting in with a million other fans, lights all on, anxiously waiting for THE MAN to appear. and u can never imagine, going for a concert without buying the light sticks?!?! that's what mimi and i did. -_-" we were squirming about in the east wing, middle row at the side, at 8.25pm (concert supposedly starts at 8). Then it came. HE came. the scene was just absolutely spectacular, light sticks (of all sorts: standard ones, starwars light sabre lookalike ones, those with spinning lights... u name it, the fans have it) waving wildly welcoming THE MAN himself: DAVID TAO!!!!!!!!!!!!! his voice was just so lovely, so mesmerising.. rising above the high-pitched screams and the thunderous applause... and he looked soooooooo goooooooood. absolutely stunning. when he appeared, mimi and i went crazy. at that point in time, we badly wanted to join those fans in the front seats. argh. we couldnt reach him unless our arms were 30-50m long.. he rocked the stage man, from his lovely ballads to rock hits.. he did it. (it was a pity he didnt go topless, haha) great band, great music, great voice, great TAO ZHE. even his fans from other parts of the world flocked in to watch him! china, HK, japan, england, australia, malaysia... he even managed to spot one fan who went for every single one of his concert.. that is a true blue david tao fan! -sigh- wish we all had that money to tour with him around the world man.. oh yea, of cos we knew who the guest singers were: TENSION! mimi screamed for Raymond while i screamed for John, haha. felt like i was about 5 years younger. anyway, the way the fans screamed "encore" and stomped the indoor, while chanting "DAVID, DAVID, DAVID, DAVID.." was just too cool for words. of cos he had to turn up again! he sang the last few songs, which kept us up and singing along... phweeeet. we so didnt wanna leave. hence, when the concert ended at about 11pm, we reluctantly left (to catch the last buses obviously :P) about two and a half hours of pure blissssss. how about that man. we were super pathetic though. the perhaps once in a lifetime david tao concert we attended and we DIDNT bring a cam. how could we have forgotten?!?!?!?! wonder if we could contact any david tao fans and ask them for some photos.. haha. that would be superb man. maybe that's a sign for mimi and i to go for his other concerts.. he did say "see you next year!", didnt he? :)

the only sad thing was i killed my throat while screaming for David Tao.. suspected myself to have contracted tonsilitis (is it spelled this way?) since sat night, so my throat hurts like hell now. going to see the doc soon. verrrrry soon. argh. there goes all the fried and spicy food... hope my throat recovers before departure for rome.

which reminds me to countdown: 6 more days to rome!!! whee! gotta go to novena on sat for confession before i leave, since it's a pilgrimage, and it's Advent now. preparation for Christmas! i havent bought any prezzies yet, though the christmas tree is up.. it looks like there's something missing though. -shrug-

oh yea, yesterday was leader's prep meeting as well. it went well, and i've decided to step up. no more indecisiveness and worries. i'm praying for more potential CYF leaders to step up as well. it's true about what the advisors shared yesterday. (hey les, what u said about tee's words stuck to me as well :) ) as long as u love responsibly, u are up to serve. i always have worries about not setting a good example (does that mean clubbing is out? O_o) and not reaching out to members, but since les used to have that problem as well, and if he can overcome it, why cant i yea? -determined- it's a good opportunity to contribute to the church community again.. since i only stepped up for a few months during sec4..

quite nervous for this fri's AGM actually.

ok, gtg for breakfast then to the doc.. tralalala... (euphoria from yesterday's concert still not washed away)

prom's night's over.
and i dunno wad to say about it...
just happy and awkward times. haha. lotsa photo-taking, smiles, food, laughters, weird and quite irritating sound effects, and over-reaction.. hmmm..
wished i had dressed up more actually.. haha. until now i'm stil kinda thinking about that warehouse dress.. hahaha.
damn.
and probably the whole of A51 knows i took photos with him. hahaha. (glares at jason)
well, what's done cannot be undone.
and the clubbing after that made up for some of the discomfort.

SOS..... not a bad place on a weekday? super empty i can say.. it was more of a cj-sa night.. didnt have as many drinks as i had imagined, and danced like nobody's business.. blissss. after a long absence of clubbing, i guess my alcohol tolerance has fallen. but i still love lychee martini though!

we walked all the way to lau pa sat after that, legs aching by then. i ate like nobody's business, and ended up looking 3-4 months pregnant.. argh. food's always a sin. back at the hotel, carmy, zai, eugene, andrea, jason, and i (with hazel in MIA mode, cher sleeping and angie watching) were playing the game similar to that of prom night, except we didnt have peanut butter, soy milk, pineapples, coke, or potato chips.. just a bottle of vodka. haha. i think andrea and jason drank most of it... pwheeet. i didnt wanna drink.. not really me yea? lol. i'm known for relatively high alcohol tolerance actually.'. annie's become a good gurl! hohoho.. not to mention carmy and zai got high after the vodka.. haha. they were giggling like mad...

anyway, we didnt fall asleep till around 7am.. then my hp rang non-stop with the sms ringtone.. hahaha. now u know samsung phones can be damn irritating ;P (out of point but i'm fascinated with the new samsung E700!!!!!)

now, i'm just spending my entire week and the next reading all the library books my hands can get hold of!! jill mansell, jane green, sophie kinsella, olivia goldsmith, bring it on! haha. fiction-deprived for the past year i guess? i'm addicted to the books.. finished 3 out of 4 in just 2 days.. gosh. is there such a thing as craving for books? but fiction of cos..

hm. away from books. countdown: 8 more days to departure for rome! whee! and i just remembered david tao's concert is just tomorrow!! eeeeowwww! geez, i almost forgot about it >_<

oh ya, cant wait to see steph next sun! er although it's the day of departure but i'm only leaving at night. so gonna spend the day with her before i leave! yays! -jumps- ^_^ havent seen her for months... i miss her sooo much...

really, tis the season to be jolly! :P

.
.
.

oh my gawd. i just wanna thank angie and cher so much!! i love u 2!! and dith!!! i'd love to shower a million kisses on u!! thank you all so much for coming down yesterday night... u've all melted my heart..... :)

btw, i thought yesterday night was great, with the skits and all! didn't had such a great laugh in a while.. though the band was not perfect and all, but i thought we were pretty good! credit goes to the whole band: judette, joachim, jem, sean, g-bear, sebastian and sam! whee! it was quite a pity the crowd wasn't hyped up.. or we could've gone even more wild.. just nerves i guess.. haha. esp that this IS the first time i'm singing in a band.. look forward to more of these!

oh yea, there was just so much fooooood... yummylicious. not to mention that after clearing up, some of us headed down to Lor 5 to finish up some of the leftovers!!!! geez. only after i rubbed my bulging belly did i realise prom night's only 3 days away... DARN. hope i can still fit into the dress >_< well, walked home with jem after that, but it didn't help much at digesting the food.. haha. it was a good half hour walk nonetheless..


um, went for interview today... it's that valuair co.. and they were only looking for FLIGHT ATTENDANTS today. geez. sorry, i fulfil height requirement but not the SIZE requirement.. if i did, i sure would've gone for it! haha. ended up signing a job form at starbucks.. hope they need me there soon! haha. hols without work sure is torturing.. with all the events coming up that sure burns holes in pockets. anyway, went over to jem's place to chill for a while, then they (namely sam, gerald, sebastian and jem of cos) hopped over to my place (fyi jem lives opp my blk).. chips, pepsi twist and bluff. nice combi eh... haha. they left about an hour ago.. well. it's always nice to have some friends over to chill sometime! :)

yays. if i'm not working, heck. shall enjoy myself on tue at sentosa... again. this time with cyf! it's gonna be fun, but not like what jem said: tan from 10 to 11-ish, makan till 4, then start tanning again till 6. cos i said the best time to tan is about 9-10-ish am and 4-6 pm. gee. we'll skip the makan till 4 part yea.. haha. wonder where the vball part fits in.. hmm.. i should just stay in the shade and read some book... absolute blisssssss.

well, just hope i don't get too tan that my mom faints at the sight of me.. haha. she likes me to have a fair complexion, the fairer the better.. weird. i always liked to have a little tan, seems healthier that way.. well, gotta trim off that bulge before tue! arg!

oh no, that means not too much drinks on mon night.. beer belly.. eeeeeee. haha.

wheee... 29th nov... it's DEE day! going down to church for last prep at 4... and i think i'm supposed to go to NTUC to buy the pasta ingredients and stuff. but heck. i need to enjoy my morning! ^_^
was kinda worried when the alarm woke me up cos my throat felt kinda dry. *panic* if i get a sore throat today, i'm soooo gonna DIE. >_<

hmph. remember the job interview? arghhhhh! the guy who told me to turn off yesterday was actually absent. darn. i'm supposed to be pissed off, but what can i do, i'm the interviewee... then my mom made some sickening remarks which were so not encouraging. some parents always have SOME things to say in EVERYTHING. hm. and my mood was half-spoilt THIS MORNING about dad tryin to pull me down for some other job interview. it's not that i don't wanna go today, i'm not free at all! and tomorrow.. if i finish mass at 12.. the interview stops at 4.. and it's a walk-in.. i most probably won't get the chance.. geez. and my mom had to dig out all those "my friend's daughter could find such a good-paying job" kinda shit. oh fuck off. this shit really pisses me off like hell. i'd like to find my job in peace THANKYOU. stop saying that u gave me pocket money for nothing this past 12yrs. it's YOUR responsibility to take care of your children dammit. don't u ever dare push the blame on us. if u want me to contribute to this family, tell me nicely. don't use those sarcastic and condescending-i-gotta-put-u-down remarks. and i'm entitled to use my pocket money in any way i want, u have the authority to restrict the amount but you don't have the authority to restrict what i spend on u $#@%(*&^$#$@!. nothing good happens when i tell my parents something. i regret telling them i was going to look for a job. *curses myself*

see, my day was supposed to start off well, but look at it. just look at it. it's super sad. and that !$#^*$#% can go on about that stupid topic for at least a day, raking up the issue every few minutes. my ears are beginnning to rot from being exposed to those explicit words. now, how am i gonna have a peace of mind tonight?!

just as i thought things were starting to look better, they didn't. this month is really not the month for me. this is getting me pessimistic about the Rome trip. i'm sure some people will somehow spoil the last few days before i go off. shit. i don't wanna continue that thought.

well, enough of complaints. i originally intended for this entry to be a happy one, but bad stuff can never be ignored. i'm wondering when i can go shopping again! really need to buy lotsa stuff before going off.. and i'm still waiting for the assist manager to call me.. things not looking very good now. no job, no money, cant buy stuff. mom sux, cant buy stuff. eventually, cant buy stuff. sorry people, no christmas presents then. haha. i'll work out a way. i'll just go rob a bank or something.. -_-

tis the season to be (not) jolly.. falalalala la la la laaaaaaaaaa....

mmmm... the joy of waking up late and knowing that you don't have school.. haha
here i am, having my brunch while whacking the keyboard...
nice days could go on forever... BUT, i have a job interview afterwards..
it's not that i dread the interview, it's just that i havent had proper sleep for the past few days.
AND i'm genuinely excited about the interview *prays hard* i really hope i'll get the job..

well, besides the job interview, tomorrow's CYF Night!!!! woohoo! we're gonna rock the stage man. luckily with God's help, the band has managed to finish our pract, or rather, scrape through. so far, i've only attended.. 4 practices.. haha. nonetheless it's gonna be great! ^_^

time's passing real fast suddenly, next week's prom night already! gee, so many events, so little money on me.. whoa, i dunno if i can survive this.. plus, i've been persuaded to go for 1st dec's Chinablack.. argh. money no enough man.. then there's David Teo's concert on 7th dec!! it's finally coming.. after that it's beautiful Rome.. ahhhhhhh.....

events-packed 2 weeks.. and after i return from Rome, christmas eve! i wonder if i'll have enough sleep.. haha. there seems to be hardly any time to get presents and cards! oh well, tis the season to be jolly, falalalala la la la la...

oh ya! did i mention! an hons, yans, mimi and i went shopping yesterday.. whee.. i bought my christmas top.. haha. love it to the core. still wondering about the christmasey top though! hmmmm.. to buy or not to buy... that is the question. oh yea, sammy (an's husband!) came afterwards! hahaha.. yans, mimi and i had a super fun time teasing em.. wheeheehee.. couldn't help it la hons, too bad u 2 weren't wearing shirts of the same colour.. or else! it would've been worse. HAHAHAHA. :P

nothing's gonna put me down cos.. tis the season to be jolly, falalalala la la la la...

oh my gawd!!!!! i'm back!!!! actually i did blog at Pacific Coffee on thur but the stupid com cut me off.. darn. but anyway! my com's finally discharged! for those who didn't know, my com CRRRRRRRRASHED. so there. argh. the torture of those few days without it..

ahhh.. finally, the A's are over, shopping season begins! except that i'm broke. haha. spent most of my savings on the rome trip.. so now i'm racking my brains on how to get my christmas stuff before departing for rome..

it's so exciting now that everything good is nearing! ^_^

oh yea, went to SOS on fri. alright man! thoroughly enjoyed myself! cant wait for 8th dec.. Chinablack! whee! one last party before going to rome.. haha. i seem to be mentioning rome everywhere. what can i do? i AM going there!!!!! :P

oops, almost forgot. i gotta go town now! (equals to cant wait to blog again ;) )

argh! i can't resist the temptation to blog! happened to peek at the pc while on the way back to my room.. hiak hiak hiak.. the seat's empty!! haha. the reason being, my dad's taken a whole week off from work(great, just when my exams are packed into this whole week), and my bro's enjoying his school holidays right now.. argh. that equals to both of them taking turns to HOG the com.. -_-

yays, i gotta make my online time worthwhile then! but what else can i talk about besides exams? and mugging? hm, supposed to be biah-ing my econs mcq right now, but heck. oh btw, had a wonderful lunch with dith after math paper2 today! whee.. there was lots of food.. palatable except for the super-crunchy-more-like-rock-hard-rather bread sticks.. and lots of conversation! fyi, we were at pizza hut, enjoying the cheap lunch express set, but not so for the atmosphere.. quiet (empty), hawker-centre-like except for the aircon, and chinese auntie waitress.. GEE. dith and i were like ordering our food in chinese. weird thing to do at a place like pizza hut? that's ok, cos all the talking made up for the lack of ambience.. heh. i haven't had such a long chat with someone for a very long time! thanx dith for the company! *muacks* i'm actually a very chatty person, just that somehow during the transition into jc, i 've quietened a little.. i remember hogging the phone during sec school days.. haha. or maybe it's just dith that makes me feel like talking! :)

btw! did i say i got the lame genes from my parents? just yesterday, my dad was looking for his glasses. he was asking mom, guess what she said?! (there was newsweek lying on the nearby table with mahathir in specs on the cover) "theeere! your glasses are with mahathir!"... *rolls on floor laughing* geez, come to think of it, mahathir's glasses do look like my dad's.. hahaha. so LAME! seriously, there couldn't have been a better answer than that!

hai, 3 days into A's.. 8 more days till it's over! way to go.. but dreading human geog.. eeeee.

ok, back to econs! (and Holland V later! tonight's episode's is a must-watch!)

time for my once-in-a-blue-moon shoutout!!
Happy Belated Halloween everyone! haha.. as if we celebrated it..
hm, i'm wondering why i'm still feeling so energetic.. while most people are blue, and super stressed? *touches own forehead* i think i have a 100degrees fever..

well, i was trying very hard to get some econs into my head yesterday, when i suddenly had this thought of stacking all my notes away and sending them to Antarctica.. or any deserted island in the world.. i dunno why, but i just felt i wasn't a book-ish person at all.. all this while i've been numbed by tons of books, lectures and tutorials.. none of which i'd been interested in. if my parents chucked me at a bakery and made me work there i'd gladly do it! it's really just not me to be buried in books all the time.. yea, true that i managed to survive primary and secondary school, but the purpose was not for myself.. all i wanted was to please my parents.. however, i cantback out now, not when i'm already near the end..

Holy Waterrrrrrr... i need holy water! to calm my nerves! the concealed anxiety i have inside of me which refuses to fade off, which shall choose to erupt on the very day of my exams!!! i suppose this is an after-effect of going to Novena with Jason and Na, especially when my bottle of holy water has been exhausted.. need.. to.. go.. this.. saaaat...

on a happier note! my flights to and from Rome has been confirmed!!! yipeee!!! we'll be leaving s'pore on 14th dec at 8.55pm.. and returning on 24th dec (christmas eve!) morning 11.15am!! whee!! i've never been so excited i tell you.. i think it's prolly enough to offset my anxiety for A's? anyone gonna miss me? haha.. prolly all partying while i'm gone.. gone to see (i hope) THE POPE!! how's that mannnn!!! another good news is, we have to transfer flights at bangkok! wow! know what that means? SHOPPING! haha.. fatal addiction.. *rubs hands* i hope 14th dec comes real soon!

furthermore! i'll be going for David Tao's concert on 7th dec!! that's like double blisssss.... i can imagine myself at the indoor stadium already! aaahhhh! *grabs mimi and screams* we're going! we're really going! ^_^ hm, weird that the ad for his concert only came out recently.. mimi's dad had booked our tix quite long ago, and sad to say, we're quite the slowcoaches.. most of the good seats have been taken already..

i guess i should be rejoicing.. there's just so much to look forward to after the A's! not to mention clubbing as well.. heh. first party of the month shall be on 21st nov at chinablack, proceeds are supposedly going to go to some vietnamese children fund.. my friends suspect it's a scam, but what the heck? i'm there to enjoy myself anyway.. :P

*skipping around the room* i must work.. last week to mug! hm, word of the week? consistency! including fervent prayers! i musnt let my parents down..

i'm so sorry for the error display of photos! but i think i'll only try to put them up after A's.. no time to get them up now.. but yea, like everyone's so excited and looking forward to A's.. including me! ain't we?? so that after A's we can go CLUBBING!!! hahahaha.. :P

clubbing and me... i'm definitely going crazy.. crazy from.. not studying enough.. crazy from.. sleeping too much.. arghhhh. u know what i mean, i know i have to help myself but my limbs and my brain just won't listen to me! *screams at brain, then at limbs* my fingers are only good at typing on my blog, not for grabbing a pen and scribbling pages and pages of essay outlines, data reps, math sums and gp compres.. hmph. useless limbs i say. do your work i say!

away from my useless limbs.. i think my mom's experiencing MENOPAUSE.
i told her that all women will experience menopause at one point in their life and you know what? she screamed at me! atrocious behaviour! i was being nice and all, trying to tell her that menopause does not equal end of the world and that it isn't all that bad, and that one day i'll be experiencing menopause too (not that i don't right now) at some point of my life.. blah the blah the blah.. and she told me to shut up and forbid me to say the word MENOPAUSE. wtf? then i gave up and yelled at her for being childish.. it's no use telling her nicely.. she only listens when i yell.. sucks. therefore, if i cant say it in front of her face, i say it here.. menopause, menopause, menopause, menopause, menopause!!!!! super annoying mom i tell you..

oh, and more annoying stuff. ok, maybe not that annoying, but ya. this is definitely not the first time this is happening to me. i hang out with a friend, gotta face her extreme mood swings and get insulted (because she didn't bother about my feelings). i mean, what's wrong? you gave an unpleasant comment, fine i take it. later on, you start sulking and that makes me wonder if i'm that bad a person to hang out with. you were fine one moment and totally @!$%&^@!# the other.. i really cant keep up with your mood swings. i'm always glad to hang out with you but if you're sick of going out with me just tell me, i'll accept that. don't leave me hanging there wondering if the reason was me or pms please, thankyou very much.

hm that felt better. the blog is always a good place to just bleurgh out all that bad stuff bottled up inside..

btw! i miraculously did a gp compre today! whee! congratulate me cos i'm a frequent gp ponner and i hardly hand in work.. blargh. and i ran today! yipee! along with an hons and jason to labrador park.. jason runs fast man. couldnt possibly have caught up with him at all.. the park was cool and breezy, really good place to jog. the total distance is less than 2.4 but it felt more tiring than on the track.. for me that is.. maybe i'm just used to the Sunday jogs with Shamu :) jogging this sunday with her as usual.. love you lots mu! celebrate our.. almost 18 years of friendship! haha.. well, we were neighbours since we were born, and we've been together since! (not that kind of together la!!) oh.. i just realised we haven't taken any recent photos of 2 of us.. eeks. we should have an ij gathering sometime after A's and take tons of photos!!! and makan!!! haha.. i'm always thinking about food.. hm.. Fish and Co! (i like the service at Novena Square's man) or Swensons! er, just not sakae sushi.. haha.

oh speaking of Fish and Co, i had a family dinner there recently, and i have to admit i'm a suaku cos it was our first time there.. -_- the food was so good! but that's not the point. our food was brought by this indian guy, whose service is good, but we dont know his name. when it came to settling the bill, my dad actually blurted out some tamil name, govindasamy or something!! my god! it was so embarrassing! then he went on rambling all those possible tamil names he could call the guy in order to get his attention. goodness. i wish i could've hidden under the table.. i cant recall the names, but boy, they were hilarious. no offence to our fellow indians, but the thought of my dad calling him all those names only made me wanna roll on the floor.. the joys of eating with my dad.. heh.

ok, it's over 12. Happy Deepavali everyone! especially to all the indian families out there.. hm. public hol is never enjoyable when exams are approaching. darn. oops, my bro's waiting for the com.. gotta gooooooooo....

with pretty cher!


with de.ass... haha


with my eldest daughter! germie so cute!


with jason!


with jervie my grandson!


with mimi!!


mr wee!! my bro says he looks cute.. haha.


we look super enthu dont we? my dearest sharn sharn!


with shell! now where's rrrrrrritchie..haha


with sze wenn! pretty girl man..


whee! with my youngest daughter zai!!


alrite.. my dar with karen! yans this is for u!

my dar!


Our Couple Of The Year


my girlfriend! (also angie's wife..haha)


my wife.. at the door?!


honz and bunz.. heh

ahem.. as much as i dont wanna put this up.. i have to.. just look at the pic with me covered k?


we're the background for THE couple..


er.. we were just bo liao? but i llllllllike itttttt... haha

i gtg for choir.. but the farewell assembly pics will be up soon! :)

haha.. took photos of my bro the night before farewell assembly.. cute yea? he's 15 already..
well.. at the beginning of this year, my relationship with my bro wasnt that good.. we were often squabbling.. but now, i'm glad the 2 of us are on good terms! oh, brotherly and sisterly love is wonderful.. heh.

wheeeeee! i missed blogging so much..
fyi, i'm supposed to be in church for pract now, but i decided i'll skip it and go for mass only.. :P
btw! had a great time with jem and greg yesterday at Sakae sushi (Toa Payoh)!! so stuffed after the buffet.. felt like throwing up all the food but nah.. i'm not bulimic. guess i gotta run like 2.4km x2?! it feels worse than a beer belly.. >_<

to walk off calories, i decided to head down to orchard.. was supposed to buy Jobeth's birthday present anyway (her birthday's tomorrow).. so yup. outcome of the walk: shopped for jobeth's prezzie AND for myself.. haha. it's so me ya! :P bought this pair of really cool and cute shoes which, excuse me, happens to be the last pair. lol. 1. it means it's damn hot-selling so i made the right choice. 2. it means that half the island will be spotted with those shoes and i wouldnt wanna be wearing them on the same day as someone(s) else! darn, but heck. i love it! oh darn again, that means i cant shop anymore on Sunday.. ugh. never mind, i'll just contend with window-shopping!

is it the after-effects of sushi-eating that makes me feel hungry? haii.. i knew it was a mistake to go for the buffet, but shouldnt one indulge once in a little while? i should be glad for my anti-snacks kitchen cupboards shouldnt i?

talking about food, Sharn Sharn is coming to my house next tuesday for lunch!! *super excited* the menu is already out, but i'm not telling, cos my sista only knows i'm cooking pasta.. heh. dear sista, dont worry, the food is definitely edible and it's gonna taste great k? just remember to bring yourself with an empty stomach.. hee.

oh man.. i tell you.. my dad is L.A.M.E. he just showed me a picture of a pig with only 2 legs, which is in fact the picture of a whole pig folded where the legs are.. looks real actually, but.. LAME!

so.. should i say, like father like daughter?? haha. not really, i think i'm worse. my idol is probably angie's mom! right angie? or is it your dad? O_o? follow in the example of lame-ness..

oh no.. i forgot to put up farewell assembly photos.. hm, that reminds me. averted a disaster that day by scooting off.. that day was real hilarious.. besides angie and i having to take photos with sammy (btw i insist that i'm a third and innocent party, angie and sammy are happily married), there were happy (or rather forced) photos of sharn and peter! and my dar yans and her beloved Mr Potato.. in bliss man those 2.. they are absolutely compatible! oh yea, i thought mr G was quite happy with his G-strings.. lol. will never forget that day.

before i forget, cher, i finally read the blog, but not quite like what you described. haha. relatively interesting, and quite surprised by some stuff.. but that's about it.. time to start a new life, one of new hopes and dreams.

*cough* i'm not supposed to be here, but i couldnt resist the temptation..
i'm having a real bad sore throat now, but it was worse yesterday.. i couldnt even speak without hurting my throat.. dear sharn, it's not your fault.. i guess it's just that my antibodies were not working well.. heh. i guess everyone's studying so hard we've neglected our health..

i feel like an idiot though, after i've decided i'm going for choir pract regardless of A's being round the corner, i get sick. grrrreat.

btw, is it really necessary to let him know how i feel about him since it is the end of school? actually i'd rather he mistake someone else for me.. i dunno what i'm afraid of, just that right now, i dont want him to know. then again, do i have a choice? he already knows. ahh, the complexity of my situation. call me a coward, or avoiding the situation or whatever, but i'm gonna run away.

btw, js, if u stop bugging us non-stop to go k-box, we might go k? seriously, the more i hear about it, the less keen i am to go. fullstop.

i wont forget what mr wee said: i'm not giving up on you, so dont you give up on yourself. despite feeling quite unsure, i'm going to perservere. so i'm going off now.. ha. to make sure i get my econs right.

btw, i guess i wouldnt be blogging for quite a while.. it's not like i used to blog super regularly anyway, but that i'd be blogging even less? oh, the joy of blogging and reading blogs would be gone for now. somebody pls kick me if i start blogging crazily everyday.

talking about kicking myself, i really want to, for going back to choir.. i dont mean to say anything bad about choir at all.. it's just that i took a break at a wrong time and this only proves that i'm really not thinking right. now that A's is in less than a month, i might have to take a break again, which i totally feel bad about. i like going for practice, but it really takes up a lot of mental strength. 4 to 7 in church, singing.. and singing.. and night practice has begun as well.. so by the time i get home i just feel like plopping down onto the bed, so much time is wasted recharging. charlene (choir) was asking me when my A's was.. and i felt damn bad telling her i might disappear again in a few more weeks.. i'm back in choir for only 2 weeks and i'm leaving again soon?! esp when they've begun practice for cantata.. then again, i'll be in rome by mid dec.. but still! i'm at a loss.. i mean, i could always just only go for mass..

ok, angel and devil are exchanging fists within my head.. i'm singing for God, so i should go for mass! at least singing for mass will keep me close to God, besides the prayers. hope mona wouldnt mind me not going for practice.. ack.

lastly, i wanna thank an hons and sharn my dearest sista for all the encouragement that u 2 gave.. love u 2 lots! *hugz* i will hold on.. hopefully effectively.

oops.. i didnt realise the photos couldnt upload.. hm, funny that i could see them on my IE..

well anyway! today's Germie's birthday! Happy 18th Birthday gurl!

ok, back to some past stuff.. i think many might be wondering why i was unusually calm about him getting my no. Well, i couldnt have hung myself or go screaming around the school would I? honestly, i cant do anything and i most prolly wont.. but i'd appreciate it if my friends would kindly stop slapping my back and screaming my name in his presence..thankyou. even if what hui says is true, i dont think any response will come from me.. i dunno. you'd know when an infatuation is over, it's over. that's it. maybe i'd still find the person appealing, but nope, it's over. time to focus on more important things at hand.

seriously, am i someone who's incapable of passing gp? i have no idea, and i honestly-serious-to-the-core cant explain what a mess i'm in. was it the fact that i was thinking about pursuing a course in polytechnic in the midst of mugging?.. that made me feel i wasnt fit to be in a jc or rather reconsidering my academic plans? my grades are a mess, my brain's in a mess, so what's new?

peer pressure can be damn pressurizing. a complex feeling that i cant express in just a sentence? i dont wanna ramble here.. and i dont have the time? all i can say is that things arent going smoothly and i haven been praying hard enough. secondary and junior college.. it's a different thingy altogether.. i lack the enthusiasm, the liveliness, the perserverance and hopefulness i used to have.

i wish for a fairy godmother,
a shining wand;
a gentle tap is all i need,
to set all my problems free.
to put my mind on the right track,
to right my frustration,
and maybe hopelessness?
i may not be eloquent, outstanding,
or out-of-the-ordinary;
just requiring the guide,
a heavenly intervention
before i go insane.